Innocent
by thetransponsters
Summary: "You're still an innocent." It scared PJ, because he knew that everyone had a breaking point. She was slowly killing herself, whether she was meaning to or not, and it terrified PJ to think that he could come home from school or work one day and she wouldn't be there anymore.
1. Chapter 1

**Innocent.**

_Lives change like the weather_

_I hope you remember_

_Today is never too late to be brand new._

Innocent – Taylor Swift.

* * *

PJ didn't understand how she could go from being so happy and perky to being so sad and stressed and just upset, all the time. It wasn't like it happened overnight. Over time, she went from the Teddy he knew and loved to the Teddy she is now; the Teddy that PJ doesn't really know that well, but still loves more than anything or anyone.

Sometimes at night, he hears her crying – no, sobbing – and all he wants is to comfort her, to hold her and let her cry until she can't cry anymore, but if she knew he knew about it, she would hate him. She would give him the silent treatment for God knows how long, and she wouldn't be able to trust him anymore.

PJ doesn't think it's her fault that she changed. He knows she doesn't want to be the way she is, and sometimes when their mother or father start yelling at her and she leaves the room to stop herself from crying in front of them, PJ tells them to give her a break. They look at him like he just said the craziest thing that they've ever heard and tell him that she's only getting what she deserves.

But PJ doesn't think that's true. He doesn't think she deserves to feel so broken all the time, he doesn't think anyone does. But especially not Teddy. She was his baby sister, his Teddy, and the only thing she deserved was happiness.

* * *

If someone asked Teddy what happened, she wouldn't be able to tell them. She didn't know how or when it happened, she just knew she was out of control. No one knew at first. Not Amy or Bob, or Gabe, or PJ. Not even Ivy. They couldn't know. She was Teddy Duncan. She was the happy one, the positive one; the one who saw the good in everyone. No one knew about the scars, or the skipping meals. She was Teddy Duncan. She had to be perfect.

But in time, she just didn't care. She didn't care if they saw the scars, or noticed the weight loss or change in her attitude. She didn't care about anything.

* * *

"You missed breakfast." PJ stated to his younger sister, sitting next to her on the couch. She was watching some Jennifer Aniston movie that PJ couldn't understand how Teddy could watch. He was never one for romance movies. As far as he was concerned, a movie wasn't good unless it had a car chase, a fight scene, or both. But he wanted to talk to Teddy. He wanted to figure out what she was going through, he wanted to help her.

"Yeah, I just wasn't hungry." Teddy shrugged, not taking her eyes off the screen. PJ knew it was because she wanted to avoid the conversation she knew was about to come.

"You missed lunch, too." He pressed.

Teddy just shrugged, turning to her brother. "Watch with me? My favorite part's coming up."

"Teddy," PJ started, looking at his sister. He watched her smile fade, an unreadable expression on her face. Anger? Sadness? Regret? PJ couldn't tell, but the look on her face was what made him nod his head, leaving it alone for the time being. "I've got nothing else to do."

And PJ saw her smile – a real smile – and he had to admit that even though the conversation hadn't gone the way he hoped it would, seeing her mood change for the better because of him felt pretty damn good.

* * *

The first time she got drunk, she was with Spencer and his friends. She didn't want to drink, but she noticed everyone else had been wasted. They were laughing and having fun. They were _happy_. Teddy wanted that, so she grabbed the bottle of vodka Spencer handed her, and downed the whole thing.

She managed to sneak home when her parents were at work, and she barely made it to her bedroom before completely crashing. She woke up the next morning with the worst headache she could ever remember having, and the urge to throw up everything she ate the day before, but she remembered how happy and carefree she was after she got wasted, and nothing else mattered to Teddy. If getting drunk was the only way for her to be happy, then that's what she would do.

* * *

PJ had wanted to beat the crap out of Spencer when Ivy told him that he had been the one to introduce Teddy to alcohol, because even though she was sixteen years old and knew all about alcohol and drugs and probably a lot more than PJ even wanted to think about, he still saw her as that innocent little five year old girl who followed him everywhere and looked up to him so much. He was never one for violence, but he had seriously considered severely hurting this asshole who stole a part of Teddy's innocence.

It took him a while, but he realized that it wasn't Spencer he was mad at, or Teddy, or his parents. It was himself, because he knew about everything; he knew about it all, but there was nothing he could do, and that made him angry. He considered telling his parents, but he wasn't even sure they would believe him.

"_Oh, Teddy would never do that. She's too perfect."_

* * *

She first heard it from Ivy. At first, she didn't believe it. She didn't _want_ to believe it. She had been in denial for the longest time. It just didn't make sense to her; Spencer couldn't have cheated on her. He wasn't like that.

Two weeks later, and he told her the truth. He had slept with someone else; someone he didn't even know. He had gotten drunk at a party, and things got out of hand. He told her he thought they should take a break so he could figure things out.

Ivy had tried to be there for her, to get her to talk, but Teddy just kept insisting that she was fine. Why should she burden Ivy with her problems? Teddy knew Ivy didn't really care; no one did.

* * *

There's a lot of things PJ didn't understand, like how his mother could be just _so_ bad at cooking, or Mrs Dabney's temper, or why Gabe was so attached to his stupid game system, which he's played himself and could tell you first-hand that it is not that fun.

But the one thing he would never understand is his parents. He could never understand how they could talk about how worried they were about Teddy and how much they loved her, and then treat her like crap whenever she was around. And, yeah, maybe they were trying to help, but didn't they know that if they hadn't put so much pressure on her to be so perfect, she'd still be the same Teddy they all knew and loved? PJ wanted nothing more than to tell them that, but what good would it do?

So he kept his thoughts to himself, and reminded Teddy that he'd always be there for her, no matter what. Because she was Teddy, she was his Teddy, and nothing she could do or say would ever change that.

* * *

Teddy would get drunk every day after she found out about Spencer. Sometimes she would sneak out late at night, go to some party that one of her classmates was having, or sometimes she would just sneak it into the house. She would hide it in her purse or bookbag, and lock her bedroom door, getting drunk in her own house.

It had been one stupid mistake. Teddy was having a really bad day, and all she wanted to do was drink it all away. She had so much on her mind that she hadn't even thought to lock her door, so when PJ had walked in to ask her if she wanted to get frozen yogurt with him and their father, he walked in on Teddy with a bottle of vodka in her hands, about to drink it all.

"Teddy, what the _hell_ are you doing?!"

Teddy jumped at the sound of PJ's voice – PJ's angry voice, which she never heard, especially directed towards her – and turned around, dropping the bottle on the floor. "PJ, what are you doing in here?" Her voice was barely above a whisper. She was afraid; afraid PJ would tell their parents, afraid he would start asking more questions, afraid he would hate her.

PJ slammed the door, crossing his arms over his chest. "No, Teddy. You don't get to ask the questions. What was that? Was that vodka?"

Teddy was suddenly angry. Why was it any of his business what she did with her life? She rolled her eyes, throwing herself on her bed and picking up a magazine. "God, PJ, you sound like Dad! So, it's vodka. Chill out, okay? It's none of your business."

"None of my business?!" PJ yelled, grabbing the magazine from Teddy. She winced, avoiding eye contact with him. She couldn't remember the last time he was this mad. "Teddy, you were about to…get drunk!" He whispered the last two words so their parents wouldn't hear. "What is going on with you? This isn't like you." He calmed down, his voice soft and filled with concern for his little sister.

"Just leave, PJ." Teddy's voice cracked as she spoke, sounding defeated. "I promise I won't do it again, okay? Just leave."

PJ stared at her for a few minutes, before sighing and heading towards her door. "Next time, I tell Mom and Dad."

* * *

The next night, PJ woke up to the sound of his phone ringing, and he squinted at the clock across the room. _2:19 AM_. He groaned and answered the phone. "Hello?"

"_PJ, it's Ivy. Can you come get Teddy? She…needs you."_

PJ was out of bed and on his way out of the house as soon as he heard Ivy's voice. "I'm on my way. Where are you guys?" He listened as Ivy gave him directions, and once he arrived, he pushed his way through the crowd of drunk teenagers, finding Ivy and Teddy sitting on the staircase. "What happened?"

"JP!" Teddy slurred. She stood up, and started to stumble forward, but PJ grabbed her arm before she could hit the ground, holding her up. "Look, PJ! It's my brother, Ivy!" Her face scrunched in confusion, realizing that what she just said didn't make sense. She giggled, her hand covering her mouth to quieten her laughter.

"She's wasted." Ivy told PJ once she saw the look on his face. "I'd take her home myself, but as you can see, she can't even stand."

PJ sighed, realizing it would be easier to just carry her out. He picked her up, and she resisted him at first, pounding her small fists against his chest.

"No!" She crossed her arms over her chest like a little kid, pouting at PJ. "You're no fun! You're just a fun-ruiner!" It didn't take long for her to tire and she just wrapped her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck, head resting on his shoulder.

He couldn't believe how light she was, carrying her to the car. He put her in the passenger seat, doing her seatbelt up for her before going around to the driver's side. The ride was silent, aside from the occasional giggle from Teddy, who was laughing at absolutely nothing as far as PJ was concerned. He noticed she had sobered up a bit – and quieted down – by the time they got home, and figured she would at least be able to walk. He opened the passenger door, unfastening her seatbelt and holding his hand out for her to take.

She shook her head and wrapped her arms around his neck, hiding her face in his shoulder.

He sighed and lifted her up because she was telling him she needed him, and who knows when that would happen again? So he let her wrap her legs around his waist again and he carried her inside. He could've sworn that as he was carrying her, he felt her tears on his shoulder, so he held onto her tighter. "I'm here. I've got you." He whispered into her ear.

And as PJ carried her to her bedroom and laid her down on her bed, he had to pry her arms away from his neck. She didn't want to let him go, and he could've sworn he heard her mumble an 'I'm so sorry' before she closed her eyes and fell asleep.

* * *

She skipped her first meal after one of her friends had made a comment about her putting on weight. She hadn't thought she was that fat, but maybe she was wrong. She saw that Amy had made spaghetti. Teddy told her parents that she wasn't feeling well, that she was going to turn in early and she would eat later. They didn't need to know that she was lying.

Over time, Teddy realized how easy it was to fool her family. She would tell them she wasn't hungry, or she was feeling sick, and they would let her leave without questions. It was almost funny, at first, Teddy thought. But it wasn't long until Gabe pointed it out: "They know you're lying. They just don't _care_." In the back of her mind, Teddy knew he didn't mean it, that he was just taking his frustration out on her. But she kept telling herself that her brother was right. Her parents didn't care about her; nobody did.

That night, Teddy picked up the razor. A small whimper escaped her lips as she pressed the blade to her wrist, biting down on her lip so that she wouldn't scream. When she saw the blood trailing down her skin, she realized what she had just done. She contained her sobs, grabbing a towel from the bathroom and pressing it against her arm. She sunk to her knees, feeling more hopeless than ever. She was behind closed doors now, she reminded herself, she was allowed to break down here. She didn't have to be perfect behind closed doors.

* * *

PJ came home one day and found her curled up on his bed, waiting for him to come back. She jumped up so fast, he couldn't even react before she was in his arms, clinging to him for dear life and crying into his shirt. He sat them on his bed, she curled up in his lap like she did when she was little, and he held her until she calmed down, whispering words of comfort and reassurance in her ear.

"You're the only one who cares," she told him, and PJ's heart broke for her, because how could she think that no one cared? He wanted to protect her, shield her from anything that could hurt her, because hasn't she been through enough? It scared PJ, because he knew that everyone had a breaking point. She was slowly killing herself, whether she was meaning to or not, and it terrified PJ to think that he could come home from school or work one day and she wouldn't be there anymore.

So he held onto her tighter, her face buried in his chest and his buried in her shoulder, and he cried. Because this was Teddy, and the thought of losing her shattered him.

* * *

If someone were to ask Teddy why she hadn't completely given up yet, she wouldn't even hesitate before answering: PJ. When they were growing up, their father had always told them that family was far more important than friends.

"_Friends come and go. They could leave you in a heartbeat without even looking back. But family is blood. Family is forever."_

Teddy had carried that piece of advice around with her for her whole life. But now it seemed to finally make sense. Because, sure, Teddy had friends. She had Ivy, Vonnie, and Kelsey. But PJ was different. She knew what she was doing to him, she knew how much he worried about her, but he still never left her side. Even as kids, when they would fight and argue about everything, he had always been there for her when she needed him. PJ was family. He had been her best friend – her brother – for sixteen years now, and she was just now realizing how right their father was. In so many ways, Teddy felt so hopeless, so _worthless_, but the one thing she could count on was PJ always being there for her.

* * *

**Reviews make me smile. (:**


	2. Chapter 2

**Open Eyes**

_So close your eyes_

_Shut them tight_

_Let it be and it will fade away._

* * *

It scared him to think about what she was doing to herself. He didn't know if she wanted to die, or just take her pain away, but sometimes he wondered if she even knew what she wanted.

Over time, she got worse. She would stay out all day, only to return at 1:30 or 2:00 in the morning, drunk out of her mind. PJ had started waiting up for her, falling asleep on the couch until he heard the front door open and Teddy stumble in. Some nights were really bad; she would barely be able to stand on her own, leaning on the door frame for support. Those were the nights that PJ would just let her crash on the couch, making sure she was asleep before going to sleep in his own bedroom. Other nights, the nights when she was actually able to stand on her own, were becoming more and more rare. Nights like these, she would yell at him for waiting up for her, telling him she wasn't a baby and she was fine on her own before going to her bedroom for the night.

He started to feel like he was putting more of an effort into making sure she was okay than their own parents. That hurt PJ, because she just kept spiralling out of control, and they did absolutely nothing to help her. He wondered if they even noticed sometimes, and if he was this upset about how they were treating Teddy, he could only imagine how she was feeling.

* * *

The whole thing was just one big mistake, but Ivy still wishes it never happened. She had tried talking to Teddy for the umpteenth time and when she wouldn't listen, it had just frustrated her so much. She wanted to hurt Teddy the way she was hurting everyone else around her. She knew how sensitive her friend was, and maybe, deep down she knew she shouldn't have said it, she should've kept her mouth shut and walked away, but she had just been so angry, and it just spilled out of her lips and the room fell into this eerie silence. She can still remember watching the tears well up in Teddy's eyes and the giant hurt in her heart as she reached for her friend and she jerked away from her, her heels clicking against the tile as she stormed out of the room.

"God, Teddy, how much weight _have_ you put on lately?"

She can remember the sound of her sobs as Skylar and Kelsey leaned against the bathroom door, pleading with her to open the door. She can remember the looks of disgust and pure hatred PJ had given her. She can remember just standing in the middle of the Duncan living room, feet glued to the floor, afraid that if she said anything else, she would make everything worse.

* * *

Gabe missed Teddy. Sure, he saw her every day. He would see her every morning before school, she would watch him and Charlie until their parents came home from work, but he missed her. He missed the bad jokes she would tell, he missed how the two of them would gang up on PJ, he missed _Teddy_.

_It's funny_, he thought, _how you don't even realize how much you miss something until you wake up one day and it's suddenly just taken away from you_. Every weekend, the two of them would spend the day together – something he enjoyed a lot more when he was younger. He would ask her where they were going, she would always tell him the same place – a café that was a few blocks away from their house – and he would complain about it the whole time, saying he would choose where they ate the next day.

"No, you won't," she would state simply before laughing at the expression on his face.

Now he was almost afraid to even bring up the idea of having lunch with her. The last thing he ever wanted to do was upset her, and he had tried so hard not to, but he was Gabe and everyone knew that he was never the best at sparing someone's feelings, and he was almost positive that if he said anything, he would say the wrong thing.

He never, in a million years, thought that he would miss it. _It's not the café you miss_, he thought bitterly, _it's Teddy_.

* * *

PJ remembers when they were younger and Teddy would have a nightmare, she would sneak into his bedroom and wake him up because he wasn't as cranky when he first woke up as their father was. She would try her hardest to climb into his 'big boy' bed and after he helped her up, she would crawl into his lap and hide her face in his shoulder because no one made her feel safer than her big brother. He would talk to her, assure her that he would never let anything hurt her, and she would fall asleep in his bed until Amy came to wake him up in the morning.

Now PJ feels like he failed her in the worst way possible, because he had promised her for as long as he could remember that he would protect her and not let anything or anyone hurt her, and now he just feels so helpless, like there's nothing he can do to take away her pain and that kills him.

Sometimes he wishes it could be him instead, that he could take away all of Teddy's pain and insecurities and have to feel it all himself just so that Teddy could be happy again, and he knows that if he had the chance, he would do it in a heartbeat.

He had been talking to Teddy more, always asking her how she was, or inviting her out with him and Emmett, or even just a walk in the park that was a couple blocks away from their house. She would always agree, because she didn't want to be alone. She didn't want to sit in her bedroom, nervously picking at her nails while she tried her hardest to distract herself from letting what that girl in her history class said about her scars, or that guy that she sees in the halls sometimes who always tells her that he would totally 'tap that' if she wasn't so hideously skinny. Instead, she had been spending all her time with PJ. He was the one she'd talk to late at night until she fell asleep. He would tell her everything that was bothering him, and she did the same. They'd helped each other. They'd healed each other.

He had come into his bedroom and was shocked to find Teddy curled up on his bed, dressed in a pair of jeans and one of his t-shirts. If it was anyone else, he would've yelled and complained and never let them forget it, but it was Teddy and if wearing his clothes comforted her – if wearing his clothes made her happy – then he would give her everything in his closet.

He had realized that it wasn't that she was in his bedroom that surprised him. It was the fact that he had been in his bedroom for over two minutes, and she hadn't moved from his bed. She hadn't jumped up and ran into his arms. She had just sat there, staring ahead at the wall. He didn't think she even knew he was home. He slowly made his way over to her, kneeling down in front of his bed. "Teddy? What's wrong?"

Teddy's head jerked up and she just kind of stared at PJ for a few seconds before she felt the tears stinging her eyes. "Spencer." She whispered, her voice cracking.

PJ's heart hurt for Teddy – an all too familiar feeling lately – when she told him that Spencer had gotten a new girlfriend, and he was basically rubbing her in Teddy's face. PJ had told her how sorry he was, even if it wasn't his fault. He had told her that everything would be okay, that Spencer wasn't worth all the pain she was going through. He held her until she cried herself to sleep, her face finally free of worry or stress or anything else that PJ never wanted to see there again.

* * *

Emmett noticed that PJ no longer worried about himself. He only worried about Teddy, he only did what was best for Teddy. He made sure she ate and he hardly said anything to her, afraid any little words would make her cry. He also noticed that PJ wasn't the only one who was always watching Teddy, making sure she didn't do anything stupid, making sure she was okay. He had watched her grow up, and even though she was never really that fond of him, he had always thought of her as one of his closest friends, and all he wanted was to see her happy.

When PJ had told him about Spencer, he had every intention to track him down and make sure he never hurt Teddy again, but what good would that do? He knew that Teddy wouldn't want him getting into any fights, especially for her, so he calmed himself down and picked up his phone, dialling Teddy's number and just listening to her cry because Emmett didn't know a lot, but the one thing he did know was that more than anything, Teddy needed people to listen.

He remembers when he was fourteen and his parents were in the middle of getting a divorce, he had locked himself in his room and blocked everyone out for days. He still remembers that day; she was the only person besides PJ who actually tried to talk to him, who didn't give up after he told them to go away. He remembers how she had told him that he didn't have to talk, that she just thought he should know that people are willing to listen. He let a small laugh escape his lips at the irony of the situation. He wants more than anything to just heal her, but he knows that she has to want to heal herself first.

* * *

Teddy's eyes shot open as she felt her bed shift, and she breathed a sigh of relief when she saw Charlie smiling at her from the end of her bed. "Hey, Charlie." She greeted, rubbing her eyes. "What's up?"

Charlie grinned, her small hand reaching into the bag that she held. She pulled something out of it, her grin growing wider. "Daddy got you an apple pie from McDonald's. I suggested it, 'cause I know they're your favorite. Gabe told me," she explained, shoving the mini pie in her face.

Teddy smiled, taking the food from Charlie's hand. "Thanks, Charlie." She placed it on the bed beside her. "I'll eat it later, okay?"

Charlie frowned, crossing her tiny arms over her chest. "That's what you always say," the five-year-old pouted. "That you'll eat later. But you never do. All you ever do is sleep. Why, Teddy?"

"I'm tired a lot," she simply responded, not wanting to worry her little sister.

Charlie grinned once again, seemingly satisfied with Teddy's answer. She kissed her cheek and jumped off her bed before making her way to the door. "Teddy?" She turned around, the grin still on her face.

"Yeah, Charlie?"

"I love you," she stated simply. She knew that whenever she was upset, one of her parents or siblings would kiss her cheek and say they loved her, and that would make everything better. She figured she would do the same for Teddy, hoping she could make her big sister all better.

Teddy smiled, the first real smile in weeks, before responding, "I love you too, Charlie."

* * *

**Okay, so I wish I could say that the next chapter will be out sooner, but I can't make any promises. I've been busy, busy, busy. But things have died down a little, so **_**hopefully **_**I'll be able to post more frequently. Reviews may help. (;**

**I'm not super satisfied with this chapter, but I hope you guys are. (:**


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